Switzerland Has a Boyfriend
by Anya Urameshi
Summary: But who is it? SwitzerlandX? with a few other pairs on the side.


"You should date Belgium," Prussia was stating in a tone that would have normally pissed the receiver of this particular sentence off any other day.

As it stood, Switzerland, the person at whom this comment had been directed, hadn't even noticed the other nation's presence, let alone his words.

And that pissed Prussia off greatly.

"Yo, cheese head!" he called, leaning over to poke the blonde in the head. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Get the fuck off me, Prussia," the other man replied, but there was no real feeling behind the threat. He hadn't even touched the gun that lay in his pocket and for about a split-second Prussia was slightly worried about his fellow nation.

But then he remembered that this was Switzerland, and that he didn't even LIKE Switzerland and his worry was thrown off into the same void that held all his tact as the albino leaned down so that his face was up in Vash's.

"What the hell are you concentrating on so hard that you would completely ignore the awesomness that is me?" Gilbert demanded, glowering down at the blonde, who just gave him a bored look.

"None of your business," Switzerland replied. "Now get the fuck out of my face before I-" the rest of his threat was cut short as his cellphone began to ring and he dug into his pocket to pull it out and flip it open. "Hello? Oh! Hey, um, how are you?"

And once again, Prussia was left standing off to the side, completely forgotten.

Which, quite frankly, pissed him the fuck off.

"Who are you talking to that could be more important than me?" he demanded, completely ignoring the fact that he was starting to sound like a jealous girl, er, _boy_friend.

"Just a moment," Switzerland told the person on the other line before covering the receiver and leveling the other nation with a deadly glare. "First of all, everyone in the whole damn WORLD is more important to me than you, and second, it's none of your business who it is!" He then removed his hand and spoke into the phone. "Sorry about that, Prussia's being a whiny bratt. Now what were you saying?"

And that was how the rumor began.

----------------

By the next world meeting, news had spread to all the nations and everyone was curious as to who the lucky girl (or guy) in Switzerland's life could be. The prime suspects, Liechtenstein and Austria, had been just as surprised by the news as everyone else (which was odd in Lys's case, considering that Vash told his sister practically everything) and had thus been ruled out, leaving everyone even more confused than they had been when they'd first heard the rumor.

Switzerland was completely oblivious to the whispers and stares that trailed him wherever he went, which just added more fuel to the gossip better than anything Prussia could've ever hoped for, and even the albino was beginning to wonder if maybe there was more truth to his rumor than he'd previously thought.

Surprisingly enough, it was Italy who actually thought to just ask the man.

"Ve, Switzerland," the Italian stated, a blithe smile on his face as he sat beside the other nation. "I heard you have a girlfriend, congratulations~!"

"Huh?" For the first time the whole meeting, Vash finally acknowledged someone as he turned to give the brunette a blank look. "No I don't."

"Oh?" Feliciano tilted his head, still smiling. "You don't? I'm sorry then." He started to get up, but paused when he heard the blonde's next words.

"I have a boyfriend."

And suddenly, the plot had thickened.

----------------

Theories flew between the nations as everyone tried to figure out the identity of Switzerland's mysterious "boyfriend". A few brave souls sought to question the blonde himself and were shot at for their troubles. The only people who had any success after Italy's victory were Vash's sister (who definitely knew now, though she refused to let it slip, if the smug expression she now wore whenever anyone questioned her was any indication) and Poland, of all people, who refused to tell anyone else except Lithuania thus leaving everyone else back at square one.

Except, of course, the nation (or possibly human) in question. Suspicion bounded about as everyone began to question the honesty of those around them, especially when the REAL boyfriend refused to step forward and decalre himself (it should be noted that a few people were exempt from these accusations such as all the female nations and Sweden and Finland, who were happily married and would never cheat on each other as they both vehemently declared in their own ways).

Specualtions continued for a few weeks before the idea began to manifest that maybe the whole thing had been made up.

England was, of course, the first to express this opinion, but since it was Arthur nobody really listened, until America decided that maybe, for once, his former benefactor might have a good point and began backing the other nation. Loudly (much to England's combined happiness and irritation).

"But he said he had a boyfriend," Italy had been the first to point out. "Why would Switzerland lie?"

Unable to come up with a reasonable answer to the brunette's highly legitimate question, everyone had finally just decided to let the whole mess go. It really was none of their business who Vash was, or wasn't, dating and finally, the matter was laid to rest.

Or was it?

----------------

"I think everyone has finally stopped talking about us," Switzerland stated, sighing in slight relief as he leaned back in his chair to watch the meeting progress as usual (read: America was making some asinine comment while England tried to strangle him with his tie).

"Yes," the nation beside him agreed, smiling slightly as he hugged the polar bear in his arms closer to his chest. "It would appear so."

"I wonder why they never figured it out though," Vash mused, frowning slightly in thought. "I mean, we go practically everywhere together. You'd think it'd be obvious."

"You would," his boyfriend agreed, letting out a small sigh as his bear glanced up at him.

"Who are you?" the bear asked, causing the nation to fluster slightly.

"He's Canada," Switzerland replied boredly (he'd become used to Kumajiro's fits of amnesia some time ago) and Matthew flushed happily as the rest of the world ceased to be of any great importance.


End file.
